Summary

In the beginning of April my brother and his girlfriend, Lauren, visited me in China. We met in Beijing and then went to Kunming together, doing little sight-seeing but lots of hanging out and eating. The week flew by. The following week, on April 20, I moved out of my dorm and into a great apartment with a dining room and living room. That week, I installed a satellite dish and high-speed internet. I have felt spoiled ever since. I now live right in the city and less than a minute from my favorite restaurant. I often have friends over.

Chinese

My study schedule has been ridiculous for the last couple of months because, in addition to twenty hours of classes, I have at least ten hours of tutoring per week. I spend too much time in class and with Chinese friends, and am left with little spare time to study on my own (for example, memorizing words and preparing for class). I am constantly humbled. Any time I feel confident in my Chinese there's something to strike me down. Most recently, I took a practice test and in the reading comprehension section, I just felt like I didn't even know approximately what the articles were about! I do keep in mind that this is not just any language I am studying, but I can't help but expect more from myself.

Plans

I will stay in Qingdao at least until the end of December. I will visit my family in New York from July 21 - August 15. I plan to continue studying next term. I am considering starting a Chinese school. No, I wouldn't be teaching! But I'd run it and make sure it would not have the problems all the current schools seem to have.

Details

Grunts

Florence was the most obnoxious girl in her class and kept challenging what I was saying, so I liked her. She asked for my email address and that led to our exchanging phone numbers. She is 21 and lives with her mom, just like most Chinese women that are unmarried. 

As we strolled, I told her that the next day I was going to Beijing. Right away she started apologizing for taking up my time. I explained that it had been me who had suggested that we meet this day, and that I did not need much time to pack, but she still continued to apologize and be overly polite. It got on my nerves. What I liked most about talking with her was her grunts. When Chinese people say yes, they don't say "mmmm hmmm," or "yeah," they just say, "mmmmm." She would say all sorts of "mmmmmms."

Korean / Chinese language similarities

In Beijing, I parted with my Korean friends, as they wanted to stay in a Korean neighborhood. We planned to meet up the next day to go to the Great Wall together. They were to call me on my cell phone that night. After dropping them off, I checked out a few hotels and decided on one that I thought my brother and his girlfriend, Lauren, would like. It was a courtyard hotel in one of Beijing's famous alleys.

Playing with Jonathan and Lauren in Beijing and Kunming

At Beijing airport, I waited impatiently and excitedly, chewing aggressively on the gum in my mouth. I watched as people came out from baggage claim. .

Grand entrance

From over a hundred feet away, through a glass wall, I spotted my brother approaching. I saw his large afro, and my eyes followed him as he approached. I watched as he kissed Lauren, and played with his video camera, smiling and laughing. Finally they reached the exit, and spotted me. Although I had found it annoying how people at the airport were greeting their loved ones and not letting other people exit from baggage claim, I did the same, only worse. We blocked people as we hugged and took videos of each other with Jonathan's new video camera. We were much more in the way than any of the people who annoyed me earlier had been.

I gave them the option of going to the Great Wall directly from the airport but they decided against it. Instead we went to the hotel .

That evening we went to Tiananmen Square and had some Peking duck. Our hotel was only a ten-minute cab ride away, but after ten minutes the cab was nowhere near the hotel. Jonathan said the guy was ripping us off, and I got annoyed at him for suggesting this. I mistakenly gave the driver the benefit of the doubt when he said it was difficult to make the turns he needed to make. Soon I realized Jonathan was right, and got into a yelling match with the driver. He had definitely driven indirectly, taking about forty minutes instead of ten, and I did not give him the full fair on the meter. It particularly stressed me out because I could see Lauren and Jonathan exhausted in the back seat.

Cell phone

After a stressful cab ride, I had another situation. I realized my cell phone could not receive incoming phone calls because I had used up all the prepaid time. I needed to add funds to my phone so that my Korean friends could reach me to make plans for the next day. Neither of them had a cell phone so there was no way for me to reach them. I searched the streets of Beijing for two hours, to no avail. The next morning I called Richard, who I had lived with in Beijing when I had arrived in China over a year ago. He made some found calls and found a way for me to put money onto my phone, by going to the cell phone company's billing center. Thus, the first beautiful morning in Beijing was spent dealing with my cell phone. After I added money to the phone, we hung around for awhile. I was hoping my Korean friends would try me again, but they never did.

Great Wall

Bike ride around Beijing

Tuesday morning the three of us rented bikes and followed a walking tour from a travel book. Along the way we stopped for some amazing dumplings. Before Jonathan's visit I was not a dumpling fan but afterwards I became one. We biked for a few hours. I got lost a few times and Jonathan kept insisting that I ask for directions, so I must have spoken to fifty Chinese people over the course of the bike ride.

Kunming

Our time in Kunming was centered around eating and meeting my friends. 

Our first morning, I brought Jonathan and Lauren my favorite breakfast, soft rice with sugar on the outside and fried bread in the middle. That afternoon we had lunch with a bunch of my friends, and in the evening dinner with my teacher Zhang, along with a couple other students of hers. Zhang made about fifteen dishes and explained how she had been preparing since 1 o'clock.

Thursday was centered around lunch at Marsha's. We all went shopping together at the market and Marsha's cooking impressed as usual. In the evening we had dinner with my friend Xiao. On our walk to the restaurant Jonathan and Lauren had a mini-fight in the middle of the street, and tens of Chinese people stood by and watched. Chinese people in particular like to stand around and watch. Xiao commented that if a Chinese woman made a scene like that in the middle of the street, the man would definitely break up with her (regardless of whether he was in the wrong otherwise).

Friday morning we tried to check into a hotel we had seen the previous evening, but to our amazement they were sold out, even though it looked empty. We then returned to the guest house and back into the same room we had just been in. At this point, Lauren felt sick from the food, so she stayed in as Jonathan and I walked around town from the afternoon until the evening. We shared another plate of dumplings for dinner, and by this time I was hooked.

Though it may seem like we did not do much in Kunming, we had a lot of fun. All of a sudden it was Saturday morning, time for Jonathan and Lauren to head back to Beijing. Jonathan and I were both very sad to be parting.

Return to Qingdao

On Sunday I returned to Qingdao. My new friend, Florence, insisted on picking me up from the airport. It did not make sense, but she had her uncle drive her to the airport and then they dropped me off at my dorm.

The next weekend Florence came over to my dorm in the afternoon with a week's supply of dumplings that her mother had cooked earlier in the day. She also brought me some other snacks in abundance. To the Chinese, buying the right amount (or too little) for someone indicates that you are feeding them, that is, giving them food because they are poor and need it. Thus, if a Chinese receives a small amount, he may be insulted, feeling he has lost face. Giving way too much is the correct thing to do here, though quite wasteful!

That afternoon we went out for a walk and got soaked. Florence was annoyed to learn that I had dinner plans. She said I should have told her earlier in the day. She was even more annoyed that I would be meeting with a female. This was the start of her strange behavior.

My apartment

Birthday

I did not want to do anything for my birthday, but Florence insisted on coming over. She brought me a big cake and some small presents. The birthday was low key as I had hoped, and though it was Saturday night, I happily went to sleep early.

Coffee's master plan

One day, as I was studying in an empty classroom, a girl who was sitting behind me dropped a piece of paper. I picked it up and handed it back to her. She motioned that the note was for me, so I read it. We passed notes back and forth for twenty minutes and eventually exchanged phone numbers. She later explained to me that she had thought very hard about how to start speaking with me and had come up with dropping the note on the floor. This way, she wouldn't have to be so direct as to hand it to me.

Vacation (May 1-7)

I had vacation from Saturday, May 1 to Friday May 7. The way it works here is that you get seven days of vacation and then go to school that next weekend (Saturday and Sunday are Thursday and Friday's schedule), to start a string of seven straight days of school.

Over the vacation Garisson and I watched many NBA games on TV and cooked together a few times. Garisson had never cooked before, but took a liking to it. I also have figured out how easy stir-frying is. Just put some oil in the wok, cut things up small, let the oil get hot, and then throw the food in, vegetables or meat.

On Wednesday, Garisson, Florence and I went to a scenic spot, and hiked on a paved path through the hills. It was packed, and hardly peaceful, but this was what I had expected. Garisson told me about the last time he had been there. He had hiked with his friend that was in from out of town along with her friends, and fell in love with on of the new girls he had met that day. After she left Qingdao, he went off in search of her, as he knew her next destination. He went through much hardship but did find her. I got the feeling she did not appreciate the trouble he went through to see her.

After our hike, the three of us had dinner at my place. Florence left late in the evening, apologizing for being a nuisance for the day. She thought I did not seem happy and that it was because of her. She wrote me a long text message going on about how sorry she was for disturbing me. In fact, I had a very good time that day, and her message left me perplexed.

Coffee text messages

On the last day of vacation, at 5:30 in the morning, Coffee sent me a text message, suggesting that she start tutoring me on a regular basis and at a fixed time. It so happened I was awake. I asked if she knew what time it was, and she said that she and her friends always get up that early and that she did not realize it was too early. Still, she was terribly sorry.

She had previously offered to help me for free, but I think figured out that if it were free, I would not be comfortable using up a lot of her time. We wrote back and forth for twenty minutes and then I asked her what her goal was. I meant did she need the money, want the experience, or what? The word for goal, however, has a negative connotation, which I later found out and she did not respond.

I asked Garisson if I wrote something wrong, and he explained that she was probably offended by my use of the word, "goal." I wrote Coffee another text message apologizing and explaining that I did not know the full meaning of the word, but she still didn't reply to me. Finally, late in the evening she replied, saying her phone had run out of batteries (which I didn't believe). She said she would give me a note explaining everything the next day, which she did - a three page letter in Chinese explained that she wanted to tutor me because she did not want to take money from her parents, they were already supporting her sister's studies, etc. She also thought it would be a good way to get to know me, and help me. Coffee speaks and writes clearly, and for that reason I thought it would be good to study with her, so I agreed to try it out and have since met with her regularly.

Garisson and Coffee over for Saturday fun. Everyone everywhere.

On Saturday morning, Garisson and I watched yet another basketball game. Coffee sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and play and would that be OK, and I said yes, so she came over and she and Garisson cooked lunch. You can tell from the pictures that it was a fun time.

Coffee tutoring me and then staying longer

On Tuesday, Coffee tutored me for the second week in a row. As she was leaving, she asked if it was OK if she could stay longer. She said she felt like she was taking me money and not teaching me enough. I said it was OK, and we spent the afternoon together. At one point she sang and danced for me, and I was impressed.

People

Florence

Garisson

Coffee

She is an extremely intelligent student and said she had won some scholarship for being first on some test in her department. Based on my first few sessions with her, I think she will be a good tutor, but am concerned that she may actually have some other "goal," just as I had originally written.

Miscellaneous

• The Chinese say they value guests and go through great trouble to prepare when guests come over. But because of all the trouble they must go through, they rarely invite guests to their house. There's got to be some word for this type of insanity. They think we (Westerners) are not as welcoming as they are, but we have guests over much more than they do.
• I finally found out why, at Chinese people's houses, I am served drinks in a paper cup (I had found this annoying as the cups are flimsy compared to normal mugs). They do this because they think the guest may find their cups dirty. This way the guest isn't put in the awkward situation where he may not want to drink out of a cup that was washed by the host. I was also told that guests are often given single-use chopsticks for the same reason. I now give my guests paper cups, and they like it. To this point, they have not used the single-use chopsticks I have bought.
• My tutor, Zhou, told me the story of an American who gave an apple to his Chinese teacher and the teacher being offended and perplexed. This goes back to what I mentioned earlier, that the Chinese are abundant in giving food as a gift so that it is clear the gift isn't to feed the receiver (which would mean they are poor).
• Zhou once gave a Swiss student the wrong kind of tea as a present before the student went home, and the student never spoke to her again. In China, if you give a certain type of gift, a specific type of flower, or other kind of gift (like an umbrella), it has an associated meaning. I always thought this was ridiculous. But it's not just the Chinese. Are we Americans offended by any gift. I know girlfriends don't like carnations because they are cheap, but is there something I am forgetting that can offend us at a deeper level?
• I found a great Taiwan chain restaurant near my apartment called UBC. The Pizza tastes almost exactly the same as Pizza Hut. I was talking to Zhou about why she never goes there, and she said because no one is ever there so it doesn't look good.
• There is a popular book called Crazy English. What I find crazy is how they waste the time of Chinese students by teaching expressions that are rarely if ever used. One explained that if you have a cow and sell it, you sell its milk too.
• In the men's room at school one day, a guy seemed to be starting at his private part for a minute right at the urinal by the door to the hallway, where anyone could look in and see him, including women.
• I started jogging home from school sometimes, which is over six miles. It takes an hour, and is quite beautiful, near the sea though not quite on it. After a jog one day I had a massage and had the lady use some special tools on me that Daxiong had suggested. They were like suction cups and the result was that my back had evenly distributed, huge bruises that looked like monster hickeys. The masseuse was an almost blind lady. She had all sorts of advice for me, including telling me to not do pushups too fast and to sit with better posture in class.

Culture

• There are a couple of interesting and common sayings here. I am paraphrasing - one says, "Without Mao there would be no China," and the other, "Without the Communist party there would not be China." I understand the sentiment more and more since coming here. Maybe China was worse before Mao, and while he did some bad things, it would have been worse without him. Or maybe these sayings are simply effective propaganda.
• When I get together with people, there seems to be no time limit. So it is tricky getting together. With Garisson, after we watch a game and eat, I just start doing my own thing, and he watches TV and eventually leaves. With Florence, she just gets upset when I decide to go, saying, "Do you have plans?"
• Garisson used the word "simile" when he explained an aspect of Chinese behavior. It means, "A figure of speech in which two essentially unlike things are compared." I had to look that up. He said in China, "People don't want to be heroes." He was using this as a "simile." He was relating this to how the Chinese put up with bad conditions, such as noise in class. He told me how if people were being loud in a classroom and he were to complain to them, the noisemaker would say other people are not complaining so why is he. Trying to be a hero, changing the world?