When Jenny asked me what I thought of the situation in Iraq I could not give a great answer since I do not feel I understand the issues well. I said that Iraq has and is developing biological weapons, has not complied with certain conditions and that clearly Saddam is bad for his people.

She came back with some interesting points. Some of them are brought up in the west while some, I think, show a different perspective.

She said war has terrible results regardless of the cause and should be used as a last resort. The US has not had a war on its soil since the civil war and therefore does not understand the effect on the land and people. She gave some examples of what goes on during war that has nothing to do with what is being fought for. The park we were visiting at that very moment contained ruins that were caused by a war. The grounds of the park, including many beautiful buildings, were destroyed by the Anglo-French. Guides show the ruins to tourists but often do not explain that the buildings used to be not only beautiful but covered with jewels that were later stolen during the war. The guides feel the tourists may be relatives of those same people that plundered the temples so mentioning certain details to foreigners can be sensitive.

Why should the temples be destroyed during war and the jewels taken? Does that have anything to do with the what is being fought for? This type of behavior during war is common and is an example of how war goes beyond the rightious cause. Another clear example she gave was concentration camps that Japan had in China during wartime.

She clarified for me some of the financial aspects of the war. She explained that Iraq and Kuwait are at the bottom of a pit into which mid-east oil flows and that they contain a huge percentage of the world's oil. Iraq will always be the last country to have oil and is not limited in its supply because of its position.

On the subject of war, there was also something disturbing she said that initially stirred some emotions in me. Chinese history books say the US is the only country to benefit from the two world wars. It seems a strange statement to me though economically it may be true. It has nothing to do with the intentions of the US. I realize that my perspective may be naive sometimes.

I mentioned that sometimes intervention is necessary and has positive results and gave as an example the US role in World War II. Jenny countered that that US did not want to get involved and that it took Pearl Harbour for the US to enter WWII. She wanted make the point that the US does not intervene for causes alone.

That brought us to the subject of intervention and Chinese philosophy. Jenny said the Chinese do not like to intervene unless they are absolutely sure of who is right and wrong (and can you ever really be sure? What does it mean for something to be right or wrong anyway?) because it complicates the situation. In almost all cases they do not know who is right. She compared it to two brother's fighting. Intervention by another sibling or parent creates a new problem and does not help elimite the first one.

The US intervened in the Communist revolution. She explained that this was not what the Chinese people wanted, though acknowledged that it may be true that the the US thought that was what the people wanted. It is very difficult for another country to understand the way the people really feel. It takes living somewhere for a long time to understand another country's philosophy and culture and even that is often not enough. That's why immigrants often have difficulty adjusting and why countries have difficulty achieving peace. I also read part of a book about Russian spies that gave me the same impression as my first-hand experience; that is, that it is extremely difficult for a foreigner to blend in. This is why native spies can be much more effective than those sent from the spying country.

After talking about war I gave my opinion that there will always be people that are unhappy and want to fight. That is how it has been for eternity; to think we are going to live in a peaceful world, without bad and dangerous leaders is unrealistic. That led to a conversation about political systems. We talked about some complex and fundamental questions such as who should have what, the idea of ownership, capitalism and communism, and the delicate balance that prevents mass unrest.

She mentioned how during the Communist revolution most people put society ahead of themselves. They really would have died for the common good. While many may find this admirable, I do not like the idea such drastic sacrifice, but it was interesting to hear.

The next time we met, at the same time and same place (the playground exercize park at 12PM), we walked to Tian'anmen Square from where we lived. I knew the way and she didn't, though it is almost straight on one street.

Jenny is a country girl though she spent a few years in Shanghai before moving a yaer ago to Beijing. That meant it was my job to do the J-walking and find our way around. I couldn't resist heavy snacking before we met but she was hungry for lunch. Finding a restaurant was an extremely difficult task. We walked a few miles, on the way to Tian'anmen, and did not find a place. Every place was too dirty for her. She wanted fast food because in China it is considered clean and safe to eat. By WanFuJing, a major shopping area by Tian'anmen, she finally settled on a Korean fast food restaurant. It is not quite like McDonalds since your food is brought to you after you order. The service was mediocre. At first the dumplings in her soup were stuck together. I am not sure why this was a problem - maybe it meant they were not cooked. I wanted to help her fix the situation but instead decided to watch to see how she would handle the situation. She took her time, did not get up from her seat. When she finally got the attention of the waitress, without making noise, she politely let her know the problem. The lady did not say a word but brought the dumplings back to the kitchen. After more than ten minutes they still had not brought out the dumpling dish. Again, she waited patiently though with me she complained about the service. The lady did not want to look our way for awhile. When she finally did Jenny asked about the dumplings. The lady, without saying a word, went to the kitchen and immediately brought out her dish.

While at WanFuJing I found out about Jenny's boyfriend. Her cell phone rang and it was a text message, which she looked at and then laughted as she put the phone back in her pocketbook. I had to ask her a few times to find out what the message was. She kept saying it was nothing interesting. Finally, she said it was her boyfriend saying not to get too close to me. She hadn't mentioned him before. I found out he lives far away and she only sees him a couple of times per year.

Jenny was a sport to walk all the way back home from the Tian'anmen/WanFuJing area. I think the walk one-way would take an hour and a half without stopping. Luckily the street we were walking on had an area in the center (a medium that went on for miles) that had trees, grass and benches and we did stop along the way. She asked about my twin brother, my family and then I asked her what her parents did. She explained their jobs though I forget exactly what they were. They were not jobs that required much education and she explained this by talking about the Cultural Revolution, where an entire generation was not educated because it was decided that education was not a good thing. She said that China at the time thought there would be a third world war and wanted a strong population. Thus, Jenny's parents were not educated, and people of their generation, during their time, were proud of not being educated. I am sure I learned about this in elementary and high school but it takes hearing about it from someone for me to remember.

She said that when her mom was a student she was at the top of her class. That made sense to me because I realized how intelligent Jenny was. I tried to ask her what she thought of her mom's intelligence, and how the lack of education impacted her mother's opinions. I was trying to find out if she thought her parent's lack of education impacted their intelligence or just their specific skills. I think Jenny thought it just impacted their skills. I was getting at nature vs. nurture, but we didn't quite get there because of the language barrier. She also brought up god and if I believe in anything. We both were of the same opinion, non-religious non-believers, but she cut the conversation short. I am not sure why, maybe because there was nothing more to say about it.

When we returned, I let her know I wanted to see the apartment she lived in with her grandparents but she said it would be better to see it when someone else was there. I do not know if that meant she did not trust me. I thought the opposite, that she would get fewer questions if no one were there. But I did not want to be pushy. She did understand my curiousity. While in Beijing the only apartment I saw was the one I lived in, unfortunately.

The third and last time we met up was, as usual, at the same time and place, but this time involved no walking. The plan was to have hot pot and then tea. The hot pot restaurant was only few minutes away. A hot pot restaurant is a good atmousphere for talking, as it is meant to be eaten over a couple of hours. That is what we did. There was a flame under our table and a bowl with two types of soup separated. The large bowl looks like a Yin Yang circle. There is a curvy barrier diviting the bowl so that it can contain the two two different soups. One soup was spicy the other one mild. There were raw meats and vegetables to cook as well as peanut and garlic sauce, which we mixed together. The saice was used to dip the food into after it is cooked. The flame control was on my side of the table so I physically controlled it while Jenny watched the bubbles in the soup to determine if it was at the right level for the different stages of the meal

Over lunch, we talked about guys being friend with girls. She and her boyfriend felt it was not possible. She said men consider it a waste of time. The guys are looking for someone to be their wife, not their girlfriend. Maybe it's the same for girls though I don't remember her saying that. She also said all guys that she was friends with ended up interested in her. I wondered what she thought of being friends with me and asked. She said it was fine since we both found each other interesting and were from different cultures.

After lunch we went for tea. Instead of the traditional tea place I expected, we went to a modern store that looked like a smoothie shop and did in fact sell them in addition to tea. After we ordered we sat on some swinging chairs. Though at first I was not happy about the place I did like it after a few minutes. There was nice music and I loved the swinging chairs though they were not very comfortable. We talked about love, and the term "in love", which she said there is no word for in Chinese. It was fun explaining to her what it meant to be in love.

I gave her a math problem that my brother had given me. You have two jars with red and white sand. First you take one spoonful of the red and put it in the white jar. Then you mix it in and take a spoonful of the white sand (mixed with some red) and put it into the white jar. Does the white jar have more red sand or the red jar have more white? And whatever the answer is, please show it with an example or prove it. She thought it was neat when I showed her the solution. Jenny is not a math-type person but could follow the solution fine.

Around 6, after sitting at the tea house for hours, we headed home. I stopped at McDonalds because I badly needed a bathroom . While there I saw that they had McFlurries. How could i not have found out earlier. I bought a cappuccino-flavored one, my favorite, which we shared.

We nonchalantly said good-bye though I felt sad. Our last conversation was about nothing, about the McFlurry and whether she liked it (which she did). I thought she did not feel any emotions at our good-bye so felt strange feeling them myself, but I later learned via email that she did.

Here is a picture of Jenny in her room, when she lived in Shanghai.