Parents and particularly moms can really get on their children's nerves. Whenever I meet up with Jacob, who I used to baby-sit, and his mom, Arlene, I see him treat her unreasonably. And she is a really cool mom. I find it amusing because I think I do the same with my mom. She is cool too, but I get so irritated.

Me being unreasonable

At my surprise party, a Friday night, Jason said he had to be in the city early the next morning but would go with his girlfriend to her place, which is a half-hour outside the city. I understood right away that it was not something Jason wanted to do but it had something to do with his girlfriend or her family, which was not a big deal. So, when my mom started asking him why he would make such a plan, in front of his Cara, I intervened and tried to get my mom to stop bothering him. In my mind, she was making him feel awkward. I was mean to her, and she said someone else who had witnessed this incident even told her that she noticed my being rude. At 3 AM, when I was cleaning up after the party, she came into the kitchen and gave me the silent treatment.

Jacob being unreasonable

Jacob flipped at his mom soon after I arrived to their apartment for dinner (Jacob was currently living at home). I showed them some pictures from my trip, and told what had happened to Marsha. Arlene was concerned and spoke to me about Marsha.

I was very interested to hear her advice on how to deal with the problems (scarring). Arlene was often careful with her kids and knew a little bit about the subject. She said could ask a plastic surgeon she knew (and did just that later that week). In any case, Jacob flipped out at her. He said that she is always giving medical advice, and that his being a doctor did not mean she knew anything. Sometimes people overrate their closest ones and sometimes just the opposite.

Arlene was a psychiatrist, he said, which is different. I think her opinion means much more than the average intelligent person, but Jacob said she knew nothing more than anyone else who read the web on the topic, something like that.

Later, Arlene confronted him about how he had gone off at her. He then proceeded to say that when she went to medical school, it was not the same. He implied that it was not as difficult. He also said the scholarship she had won was also not as impressive as it would be if she won it nowadays. It was a prestigious scholarship to study abroad for a year after graduation, Albright or something like that.

In fact, Jacob had no idea!

An aside - here are some jokes my brother told me on my drive home from the airport, which I did not find funny: What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idear.

Arlene and I spoke, and I let her know that he would probably be somewhat improved soon, in that, like me, he might be mean but know he is in the wrong. Right now he lived at home and that was a probably recipe for disaster.

The next week, Jacob, Reuben and I went out and they told me that when they got home, at 5 AM, their mother would be up and ask them how they were. She wouldn't ask anything unreasonable, they both insisted. But they said that when they get home drunk, they don't feel like saying even a word. I decided to go home and see what happened and she was not awake after all.

Jacob doesn't yet realize he is in the wrong, but he will. I am not sure when I came to the realization that I often overreact with my mom. She may do things that are annoying but there is no reason to flip out. I still do so occasionally, unfortunately. I can't help it. I also flip out with my brother, but he deserves it

On a more positive note, both Reuben and Jacob made sure to put first that they both thought there mom was really cool and smart.