Summary
I am on summer vacation through the end of August. I spent the last three weeks of July in the United States, to visit my family and take a break from China. It was a great visit. Still, by the end of it I was eager to come back to China to resume my studies. While I was home my brother threw me a surprise party, my mom got me a three week pass to the gym and I made trips to my favorite places on the east coast, Boston and Philadelphia.
Details
My arrival in NYC
Since my flight home was from Shanghai and I had never been before, I arrived a few days prior to check it out. It was an impressive city but nonetheless I started counting the minutes till my flight home. I almost didn't make it through customs in Shanghai. The customs officer spent a few minutes examining my passport photo. He called a co-worker over and finally they let me through. Phew!
My flight had a stopover in Japan, where, shortly after arriving, I found out that my onward flight to New York was delayed for a few hours. I tried to make small talk at the airport with a cute girl, who was sitting on the floor. I thought she was eating some gourmet food out of a little box, like some special chocolate, so I walked up and asked her what it was. It turned out she was eating French fries, so I was instantly turned off. Then I found out she was only eighteen-years-old. The conversation subsequently went nowhere.
To make myself feel better about the flight delay, I had some Japanese food, expensive eel . I ate it too quickly, and quickly went back to my gate to check on my flight's status. To my pleasant surprise, I found out it would be boarding in just a few moments, much earlier than I had expected. That was a nice surprise, a lot better than when you find out you have an hour delay, and then the delay continues to grow with each announcement, until you have a cancelled flight and are on the verge of suicide because of the stress. Before I boarded, I bought a small cup of coffee-vanilla Haagen-Dazs ice-cream that I had eyed earlier. Though I had thought to buy it only to make up for the disappointment of the three-hour flight delay, I changed my mind and bought it despite the fact that the delay was much shorter than expected. I thought it would be a creative mix of the two flavors, but instead it was just the two swirled together but separate, hardly worth the calories, and of all the Haagen Dazs flavors, quite dull. Nonetheless, I finished it.
I have gotten used to the long flights and the twelve hours from Japan was nothing special. I was trapped in my window seat by two Chinese guys who became good friends over the course of the flight. One of the two, the one sitting in the aisle seat, was the last person to board the full flight, and the flight crew at one point made announcements that they were about to remove his luggage since he had not yet boarded. Two minutes later he boarded, with his hands full of shopping bags. He moved everyone's luggage in the overhead compartments so that his could also fit, and later in the flight it took me five minutes to get to my bag, which was squished in the back by Mr. Important's duty-free purchases.
My mom and brother picked me up from the airport. Despite emailing both of them numerous times to let them know my flight information, and urging them to check whether my flight was on-time (so as not to get there early), they left hours before my flight landed without as much as the flight information in their hands. On their way to the airport Jonathan called his friend, Dash, as pleasant a name as you are going to find. Dash logged into Jonathan's email and checked the flight info, then checked if it was on time, and found out about the hour-long delay. All they could do was drive around and kill time, but maybe it was a good way mom and Jonathan to spend quality time together.
After picking up my luggage I excitedly raced out, only to be stopped dead in my tracks by the luggage examiners because of my suspicious demeanor. I had some DVDs that I did not want them to see, and started sweating profusely, giving myself away. But they did not pay attention to my soaking armpits. When questioned I did not mention the DVDs, though was honest enough to let them know about a gift I had brought for my mom, an exotic butterfly. They escorted me to a special place and, after putting the butterfly through the x-ray machine, confiscated it. They were not sure if it was an endangered species and would let me know at a later date via mail or by phoning me whether I could bring it in to the country.
Hundreds of people were walking out with their luggage, and "Where is Jeremy?" my mother wondered. When I finally did come out, she did not recognize me. I looked her in the eye but she looked right past me. I said, "Mom!" She opened her eyes wide and then a huge grin appeared on her face and her smile grew till it reached from one ear to the other. I got a more impressive than usual hug from my mom and then we met outside to meet Jonathan, who was circling the airport in her car to avoid the hassle of parking.
I had not seen him in nine months but when we did see each other it felt like everything was normal. It felt even more normal when my brother and mom started bickering. I found it amusing and was just happy to be home. Jonathan soon let me know about a bet he had with Dash about how long it would take Jonathan and I to get in a fight. My brother told me some bad jokes as did my mom and I almost asked them to make a U-turn and drop me back off at the airport. I wanted to go back to China. But then my brother told me the plan for the evening was for him to cook dinner for just the family, just what the doctor ordered, and I decided to stay. My brother, my mom and my dad and I would be all of the people present, no friends. Perfect.
When my dad came over to my mom's, he immediately put on the Yankee game and started reading his newspaper, sitting on the couch in the living room, before saying hi to me. He said, "Oh, Jeremy's here?! That's right. Almost forgot." My brother cooked my favorite, Indian food.
After dinner my brother, dad and I had one of our classic family conversations . My sister had received a grade of 75, in a class where she got a 91 on the Regents and a 90 on the final exam. The reason for the low grade was that she did not do her homework. My dad thought this was crazy. My brother and I agreed and thought that, while it might not be how I would grade a class, the teachers should rarely make exceptions in grading, and if this is how he said he would grade the class, this should not be an exception. Jonathan and I chose to argue about something else, on the importance of doing one's homework and being responsible.
In the evening I could have slept but instead decided to stay up all night at the computer, finishing my previous web posting. My dad slept over and attempted to sleep in the bed in the room with the computer. He said he did not mind the light being on and my working at the computer, but after two hours of not being able to fall asleep, he went to the other room. I felt bad, but there was no logical reason for him to wait two whole hours before changing rooms. He has such high tolerance sometimes, including the dentist, where he declines the use of anesthesia. I was up all night and ended up being awake for forty-eight hours straight without being tired or uncomfortable. I don't think there is a word for the opposite of jet lag, but if there is, then I had it.
My first week home
Marsha called me each of the first few days I was home, and I was glad to hear from her and that her mom was with her. I do not know the words to describe how cute her English is. When she says thanks, it is a long, and drawn out ( like "Thaaaanks"). Often, she is not easy to understand, as my mom found out when Marsha called while I was not home. My mom said that after a couple of tries she thought she understood Marsha and I confirmed this, since the relayed message to me made sense. I think Marsha's English is impressive considering her background. She grew up in a town where most houses did not have electricity and her English teachers could not have been very good.
Wednesday morning, I said hi to my eighty-three-year-old Grandma, who lives upstairs, in the same building as my mom. She had thought I was coming home on Thursday though I told her many times that it would be on Tuesday, July 8. My first cousin, Jason, was coming to New York from Ohio on Thursday and my Grandma thought both of us were arriving on the same day, which she was not happy about. She did not like the huge event, my coming home, being mixed up with the excitement of Jason's arrival. Lucky for all of us, our arrivals did not coincide. There were hours of discussion regarding whose fault it was that my Grandma had this misinformation. My brother blamed my mom for the travesty. Though he backed himself with facts, my mom was having none of it. It is very like my family to talk about these things for too long .
Later in the afternoon, Jonathan, mom and I saw two movies, 28 hours and Capturing the Freedmans. We double-dipped and it was a nice way to spend the afternoon, though my mom could not sit through the movies, particularly Capturing about the Friedmans. We saw them in Chelsea and afterwards went to Boston Market to get a great side dish of theirs, sweet potato casserole. We made our way through a flaming crowd, and one of the flaming workers at Boston Market smiled at me.
In the evening I met with my friends and former co-workers, Mike and Peter. I met them at their office and Peter was scared when he saw me. He was not happy about my hairstyle (I had not cut my hair in months). When Mike entered the office, he thought I looked like Ronald McDonald. We opted for Burger Heaven and had mediocre food. I later found out Peter saw me take some salad with my hand, a faux pas. I should not have done that, especially in front of a former co-worker, but what's done is done. Now he knows how I can be out of the office, a savage if there ever was one.
Jason arrived on Thursday. There was a big to-do about where he was going to live in New York and he was not happy about making the choice all by himself, but that was what this trip was for. It was a company-sponsored mission to find a place to live.
Jason met us at my brother's apartment and when his girlfriend, Cara, walked in with him, I was not sure how to greet her. A hug? Kiss on the cheek? Nothing? All were fine with me. It ended up that she said hi and walked by me, weirded out by my afro and maybe not sure who I was, Jeremy or Jonathan. Greeting Jason was not a problem and never is. We just say hi as if we always see each other, but when we say good-bye we do a "Godinga-kiss," invented by his father David, which consists of us going to each other's cheek and in unison turning our cheeks the other way as we kiss. As far as I know, my uncle David just made up this kiss to give to my brother and I (as we have the last name of Godinger) and so named it.
The four of us chatted and soon we were off to lunch to one of my favorite restaurants called, "Our Kitchen." When we say to someone who has never been there, "Let's go to Our Kitchen," it throws them off. My mom met us there. It turned out the owner of Our Kitchen spoke Chinese. Speaking with her was a natural way to show my brother, mom, cousin and his girlfriend my Chinese.
Earlier in the afternoon, Cara had given Jonathan and I two extra tickets she had to that night's Mets vs. Phillies baseball game. She had four good tickets and two bad ones (the extra ones) but, with simple planning, my brother and I were able to sneak up and sit with them. After an inning it was an 8-0 game and as bad as a baseball game can be, but I enjoyed it till the end.
After the game we went out for some drinks and the bar was not smoky. I thought it was strange. I found out that during the six months I was away, the no smoking in bars law had been put into effect! Soon we headed home, but Jason was enthusiastic about going into an empty bar we passed. It was flattering, in a way, since it meant he was entertained just hanging out with me and my brother, even though we had already talked for hours that night. So we went in.
A man who spoke little English and seemingly drunk came into the bar with his pockets full of change and emptied it on the counter, but it did not end up being enough for a drink, and he insisted the bartender keep all his change. I tried to get the bartender to make me a good drink of her choice with some hard liquor I had picked out, but that was too difficult. When the bartender said for me to let her know any drink, I went out on a limb. Bartenders never know how to make my favorite drink, and neither do I, but I asked her for it - a "girl scout cookie," though I sometimes mistakenly refer to it as a "dirty girl scout." She had a book with instructions and it contained directions to make drink! I copied it down.
On Friday morning I took my grandma to the country, seventy-five minutes from the city, where she has a room a few steps from a lake. On the car ride, I listened to my grandma's typical advice and words of wisdom. Her room in the country is relaxing and, if the weather is nice, we take a dip in the lake. She is not in good enough shape to swim but I can help her get in the water, and if she is up to it she dips her head in. She never complains that the water is cold, though it sometimes is very cold. On the ride up, my grandmother could not decide whether we would pick up lunch on the way to her place (before going for a dip in the water) or afterward. It did not matter to me, and she changed her mind a few times before settling on eating after the swim. When we arrived at her place, I was tired and took a nap for an hour. I was awaken by my grandmother offering me some soup that the neighbor had brought over. After the snack we went in the water. Then she sent me to get lunch. She would get the lifeguard to walk her back to her room.
We got some yummy American-Chinese food for lunch. My grandma insisted on no chicken. She is sick of everyone having chicken, chicken, chicken! I decided on orange beef and she liked it a lot. We were both relaxed and not rushed when my mom called on the phone, telling me there was a shoe sale, and trying to find out when I would get back to the city so that we could go and check it out together. Ugh! I was thinking, I can do it alone, and what is the rush. She was being like my grandma, wanting to buy me something so she could spend time with me. This was nuts. That's what I was thinking. Not that I mind being bought presents while spending time with family, but I thought it was a little weird coming from my mom. I was irritated and did not want to be rushed to return to the city. I knew I would be home by dinner time, because my brother had set up plans for me to meet his friend, Hui, for dinner, and I told my mom I would not rush home to check out the shoes.
I had long ago planned to meet Hui for dinner on this particular day. She is a cute female friend of my brother's (who has a boyfriend). I have known Hui a long time but we were never friends. She sometimes read my web postings and liked them enough to mention it to me, but when we would end up being at the same place at the same time we would hardly speak. There was just nothing to say. While in China, she wrote me that she wanted to give me some book. I was thinking, she could just give it to my brother for me, but instead her and my brother set up this particular date and time, and I did not mind meeting. I did not mention that it was unnecessary. I thought it might be a nice way to get to know Hui more. After setting up the time for the three of us to have dinner, my brother later suggested it might be better if he not come, and I agreed. If he were there, I would not get to know Hui in the same way.
I got home from the country in plenty of time for dinner, despite a nap I took on the way. My grandma knew I was tired and suggested that I take a nap at her place. No one would bother me as they would not know that we were back yet. I said they would know, and that it was not necessary. She knows I do not like getting little phone calls about nothing all the time, and that it is inevitable when I am home at my mom's apartment. I told my mom I would just check out the shoes on my own some other time. Soon it was time to meet Hui for dinner. I did not see any reason to dress nice, but my brother thought I should, so I did. For some reason my brother was dressed very well when I was on my way out the door. I asked him what he was up to that night, and he said he had no plans. That was weird.
Hui and I had a nice dinner. . I was not very hungry and she said she wasn't either so we shared a light appetizer and a dish. I like not over-ordering. The food came out minutes after we ordered. The conversation was fine and after dinner Hui said she would stop by my mom's place to say hi to my brother. I got in and, "Surprise!" It was a surprise party and I was one-hundred percent surprised. Should I have known about my surprise party?
I went around the room. It was awkward because there were people I had not seen in awhile and I had to quickly say hi to them and move on. Who would I talk to first? It was a mix of people that included my friends, family friends, my brother's friends, friends of friends, my brother's new girlfriend, Lauren, and my sister! Before talking to anyone I grabbed some of the Indian-food appetizers my brother had ordered and a Smirnoff-Ice. There was no shortage of drinks and the party, which started at 8, did not die down till 2. During the party there was a small incident between my mom and I, which is the usual for me.
Late that night, after everyone else had left, Lauren helped me clean up. Though I did not want the help, I knew she meant well. Her offering help showed she cared about my brother and wanted me to like her. I insisted the help was not necessary. I would rather her and my brother go to sleep and do their own thing. Though I insisted, she did not stop helping until most of the cleaning was done.
While we cleaned up, my brother pointed out a huge roach near the Kitchen, and I did not want to get near it. Lauren killed it without hesitation using a wad of napkins. She then chased me around the house, trying to put it on me, for goodness sake! I ran and she chased me. When I was standing on the bed (why when people are chased do they end up standing on a bed, just like in the movies?), she threatened to put the bug in it with me, but this did not bother me. I just did not want the roach to physically touch me, but I did not mind picking it up with a napkin and flushing it down the toilet, which is what would have happened had she put it in the bed. After I said, confidently, "Go ahead, put the roach on the bed," she was disappointed. She mistakenly thought I was no longer scared, and threw the roach in the toilet herself - it would not be fun if it didn't bother me. She should have threatened to put the dead roach on me.
On Saturday evening, my brother and I met with a friend of mine who was in town from Philly, Kathy, and a wild friend of hers. Both of them wanted to party at a Latin club, especially after we met at a Mexican restaurant and got served Margaritas by sexy Hispanic waiters. The two of them and I went to a Latin club and danced with them till 2:30 AM, at which point I was tired and headed home .
On Tuesday evening we went out to eat for Dash's birthday. Dash, like myself, does not like to celebrate his birthday, but a group of us met up nonetheless. After dinner Jonathan had the waitress bring out a cake and we all sang happy birthday. I thought Dash would be really annoyed but he was only a little bit annoyed. Jonathan does a bunch of things that annoy me, a subset of which annoy Dash, but Dash seems to not mind being annoyed the way I do. For example, Jonathan will call Dash during the day to get information about the (stock) market, call him at the end of the day to find out what the market closed at, and call him to look up phone numbers and other information, like what price the QQQs are at. It may be that Dash is not that busy at work.
At this point I had been home an entire week, and it was time to go to Philly!
Philly Trip
On Wednesday morning I headed off to Philadelphia by myself to visit friends, previous co-workers, and my favorite places. I first met three previous co-workers, Jim, Larry and Norm, at a Chinese restaurant in South Jersey that the group of us would often eat at when we worked together at CIGNA. At one point, the four of us made up the Windows NT Architecture group at CIGNA. This restaurant served my favorite hot and sour soup, and a duck sauce that I usually ate with a spoon so as not to dilute the taste of the duck sauce with dry noodles. My first choice was the Thai restaurant next door, but last time we went to lunch together we went there, and at that time Norm asked for the spring rolls to be steamed, but they gave them to him fried. Larry thought we shouldn't go there again because Norm would not be happy.
Conversation was normal, not too many questions about China. These are not people I see more than once or twice a year, so not seeing me in awhile was not unusual. It is amazing how little the conversations with them change despite how much our lives have. I am in China, Jim is retired and Norm is no longer working on the same team at CIGNA.
In the afternoon I was to meet up with my college sweetheart, Anita. I had some time to kill so I stopped at my brother's friend Ed's house, where I would be sleeping that night to fix a computer problem he had told me he was having.
In the elevator a girl thought she recognized me. It turned out to be Ed's ex-girlfriend, who had previously met my brother. The majority of the time I don't take advantage of the opportunity to fool people. I never thought about why, as it does seem like it would be fun. Maybe I don't want to be defined by the fact that I am a twin. In any case, I just said that I was not Jon but his twin, Jeremy. I knew she and Ed had recently broken up, and I did not know her, so did not want to say the wrong thing. It was a nice one-minute chat. She happened to know someone who was working in China.
At Ed's apartment I quickly fixed his computer problem and at the same time checked my e-mail. Then I went to pick up Anita, and she was on-time. She knows how much that matters to me. She and I are still friends, and she actually managed to make it to my surprise party, though only for five minutes. Her boyfriend is not a fan of mine, which makes things more difficult.
Before roller-blading, we stopped at 7-11 for a frozen French-vanilla cappuccino and it turned out that they no longer sell them, a big bummer. Anita and I went roller-blading on Kelly Drive and I asked her what she thought about traveling in Southeast Asia as well as what she thought of backpacking. She had a lot of experience. She said how cool Kathmandu in Nepal was, but when I inquired further, I found out she was bored much of the time. While in Nepal, she taught Biology to children and loved their enthusiasm. She thought the backpacking scene was interesting and at the same time annoying. I prefer staying places awhile as it is not so hectic, but it is true that you do meet many people backpacking, a fraction of which you hit it off with. Like anywhere, you are not going to be friends with most people you meet. Backpackers are an interesting and diverse group at the very least. The opportunity to see many places is also enticing. Before speaking to her I did not want to backpack, but now I think I should do it at least for a month or two, to check out countries for a few days at a time without a being on a fixed schedule. It can't be too bad as long as I have good books to read.
After 30 minutes of rollerblading, I dropped her off at the lab to take care of some experiment. I was surprised that she was able to meet up with me later for dinner. I had planned to meet with a common friend of ours, Marcela, her husband and their baby at their house. At first Anita made small excuses, like maybe there wouldn't be enough food, maybe it would be awkward, but both were invalid, and a call to Marcela confirmed this. Marcela thought it would be neat for her to join us. Although Anita had not spent much time lately with her boyfriend due to demands from school, she came with us. I told her really, whatever, is cool with me. I would not want to even try to convince someone of something they did not want to do, but in this case I thought she really did want to come, so I made sure she knew that it really was no problem for anyone involved.
After blading I met up with my friend Pang, who was studying for the New York bar exam. We had a catch and chatted for an hour. Then we went to Rita's Water-ice, which, strangely, he had never had before. I parked in a special Philly space where you can keep your car for 30 minutes without putting money in a meter and got us both Gelatis (layers of water-ice and custard, a creamy ice-cream). We walked on South street and chatted. He thought the gelati was delicious. Afterwards, we went to his apartment and he showed me a recently published book, which contained an essay he wrote regarding the Prep for Prep program.
I picked up Anita at 6 PM and we headed to Marcela's house. Marcela was doing research for her PhD and Doug, her husband, was in his residency, so both were very busy, but they had someone to help them take care of the baby, so they insisted I not bring anything for dinner. Dinner was salmon and it was just what I had wanted. I had told my grandmother earlier in the day, when she asked what I would be having for dinner, that I wished it would be fish but probably would not be. And of all fish, I most wanted Salmon.
It was a nice evening. I liked when Marcela and Doug got in an argument about babies sleeping and SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) and why babies in the US die in bed more often than they do in other countries. Marcela had her theory and Doug had his, and they are both intelligent. Doug doubted what Marcela said, but she had read it somewhere and it made some sense to me.
After dinner, while we were still at the table, Marcela said to Doug, "Should I tell them the big news." Her husband said OK, but left the table. She then told me that her ex-boyfriend (they had had a long and rocky but intense relationship) had died. He was in graduate school and when he was not seen for a couple of days, they found him in his apartment dead. She found out by randomly searching for him on google, just because she was curious what he was up to. She confirmed the information by calling his school, but still did not find out the full story. He was someone she really loved and I felt very badly for her. I did not know what to say.
While on the subject of High School and the upcoming ten-year reunion, she said someone else died, someone named Marina, last name starting with a G. I said, "Gertsburg" and she said yes. I knew her very well and was even in touch with her for a few years after High School though in the last five years we had not spoken. In class she sat behind me because our last names both started with G, and somehow we became friends. We ended up going to the senior high school prom together. One day near the end of our senior year, she gave me a kiss on the cheek to say good-bye and wrote her number on my hand, and I thought that was a hint to ask her to the prom. She worked for Cantor-Fitzgerald and died in 9/11. It was her first week on the job. I did not feel comfortable reacting to this news at that instant. I felt much more sad personally about Marina but knew Marcela's pain had to be way more intense than mine, as it was someone she had been in love with that died. I later reflected how devastating it must have been for Marina's parents and have thought about it often since. Thinking about her being on a floor above where the plane hit, the terrible fire, the feeling of helplessness, and some people jumping out of the windows - it is horrific.
Later in the evening the four of us went for a walk, after which Doug and I talked baseball and had a catch. I think the suburbs of the US can be really pretty, the grass, the tranquility, and the families. I thought about this on our walk.
I slept at Ed's house but unfortunately could not find a good parking space, so I got up by 8 AM, when I had to move my car, and drove to Kelly drive. There I slept on the grass for two hours before meeting another previous co-worker of mine, David. We had great Thai food for lunch and I let him know that I wouldn't mind taking him up on his offer for me to use his guest room that night. Ed had a date planned. I asked and he said it was OK if I got in very late, after he was sleeping.
After lunch I bladed around the city for an hour and then met up with a friend of mine that I had met through Anita, Kathy. I had just seen her in New York the previous weekend. We first went to a batting cage. Though it was only her second time going to a batting cage, she hit so well I was at a loss for words. The compliments could not be high enough. She does not play baseball or softball. I guess she is pretty good at cricket - she is from India, and played there. It wasn't just that she hit the ball and made contact, she drove the ball and had some pop. I taught her a little bit, not a lot because I think that is a bad idea, but a person at the cage decide to tell her to keep her elbow up, and this and that, despite how well she was doing without the advice. Then we had a catch on the baseball field at Haverford, after which I drove back to the city, dropping Kathy off before meeting up with a friend of mine, Mike, who I hadn't seen in a couple of years, for a Phillies game. He looked skinny and I almost laughed. I found out he had lost thirty pounds because the doctor told him that his weight had caused back problems he had been having. Since losing the weight, his back problems went away. He used to hit a lot of homeruns when we played softball, not bombs, but easily clearing the fence. This past season, he said, he did not hit a homerun. He had turned into a singles hitter. The ball did not go as far since he weighed less. This is consistent with what I always thought, that the ball travels proportionally to the weight going into it (makes sense if you use physics).
We found a parking space in five minutes, right around game-time. Mike, like a kid, bought some candies before the game. I suggested we get the cheapest tickets. I was confident we could sneak up as I had snuck up easily many times before at Veteran's stadium. When we got in, it turned out to be impossible to sneak up. We got busted even when we were sitting in terrible seats that were not ours. We headed to the general admission section, high up in the upper deck in left field. Throughout the game we looked to see if the ushers, in red shirts, were lax, but they did not move the entire game, always in position to check tickets. Often, when I am over-confident, I end up being wrong and this was no exception.
It was an exciting game. There is a Philly's player who is not batting his weight. He got on base with a walk and on a double tried to score. He was thrown out, but knocked the catcher over in the process of trying. When he jogged into left field, he got a standing ovation for his effort (though he is normally booed for the horrendous season he is having). I got chills. I really was touched. After three hours we were ready to go home, so we left after the ninth inning with the score tied at two. I dropped Mike off and heard about the game winning homerun on the Radio. The Phillies won and the player who hit the homerun was mobbed by his teammates at home plate. Many wondered whether the hitter would come out alive he was being beaten so much. Being beaten is an interesting way of being congratulated and I wonder how and when it came to be so popular.
Later in the evening I met up with Kathy again and we went to a nice restaurant, Zanzibar Blue, and each got a glass of wine. Despite arriving with only ten minutes left in the musical performance, we were charged the $5 entertainment fee, but I decided not to say anything. We had a nice time chatting. Late at night, I arrived at David's house. He got out of bed without a problem just as he said he would to let me in. I could have felt I was being rude by waking him up to get in, but he said in a convincing way that it didn't bother him and this type of thing would not bother me either, so I didn't feel bad, though at the same time I did appreciate it. In the morning I headed home to New York.
Beach Party
Friday night I went to an all-night beach party with a friend of mine, Nirosha, and three friends of hers. It had been raining all night and I was glad that my ride did not cancel on me. The party was rain or shine. When Nirosha and her friends arrived, I saw they were psyched and ready to party and that got me excited. They especially liked the bottle of Bacardi that I brought. We left the city at 11 PM, as planned, to avoid traffic. We drove Nirosha's friend's car to the party, and he let me drive as he slept. He had driven a few hours to come in to the city that night. We hit zero traffic and arrived shortly after midnight. Shortly after we arrived the rain stopped. On the beach, there were between fifty and a hundred people, mostly in small groups, and from different backgrounds.
I managed to be sub-buzzed for most of the night. Not enough for my head to start spinning, but enough to be uninhibited and not too bored (except when I was talking to really boring people). There was a bonfire where everyone was hanging out, 100 feet from the ocean. From time to time people skinny-dipped. In the middle of the night, though it was cold, I decided to go give it a try. It was weird since it was cold out and the water was freezing, but I did it. A guy joined me and then the two girls that I came with, but hadn't met before, joined, which made it much more fun. We hung out in the water naked, really not too wild. I didn't have a towel so when I came out I just put on my clothes and stood by the fire for a long time.
I had thought about having my brother pick me up on his way to the Hamptons in the morning, but in the morning I opted to return to NYC with Nirosha and company, as we would get back to the city before my brother would have left to pick me up. This was much simpler. I got home around 8:30 AM. My brother was still sleeping in the living room with Lauren, and I crashed in the bedroom, with sand all over me. Before we left I looked for a broom to clean up the sand I had scattered all over the apartment but couldn't find it. My brother woke up and showered, and then we left for the Hamptons, to visit my dad. Jonathan didn't think of giving me time to shower. Later he said we left the city late (around 10 AM) because of me, but the real reason was that he had slept in and showered. He was not sleeping in to give me a chance to catch up on sleep.
Weekend in the Hamptons
My brother, Lauren and I met everyone (my dad, Isaac, his girlfriend Karyn and my sister Rachel) at the tennis club. I saw Karyn talking to people and figured she would say hi when she was ready. I later found out that she thought it was rude that I did not come over and say hi. Whose responsibility is it to initiate the hello? My sister was in the midst of the latest Harry Potter book. She had a thing about finishing it over the weekend and my dad wasn't happy about it. It was the first weekend in months she had been with him and he did not like that she chose this of all weekends to read the book. My dad had been playing tennis all morning, but still wanted to play my brother when we arrived. My brother beat him badly. While they played I sunbathed and jumped in the pool. When they finished playing, they joined us by the pool. Soon we headed back.
We debated going to the beach with snacks versus having lunch at home. We had decided it would be nice to take snacks to the beach, but when we got to the apartment some of us were very hungry, and raided the kitchen.
We headed to the beach. The water was cold and hurt. It felt like a mixture of water and glass, which is what sand really is. Imagine being hit by hard waves filled with glass. I let my sister burry me in the sand, but could not stand it for too long because there were insects living in the sand that were crawling on me. I was trapped long enough for my sister and Lauren to put a piece of cake in my face.
That night, I crashed on the floor after dinner, while my brother and Lauren took a walk on the unlit beach and were devoured by mosquitoes. The next morning, while my dad and Karyn played tennis, the rest of us went to have breakfast at a place that Karyn said had the best French toast in the world, and it did. They were French toast sticks, with a lot of cinnamon, crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. In one of the other dishes I found a part of a butter wrapper, strange for such a nice place. I mentioned it and they gave us the dish for free. My sister thought one of the bus-boys in the restaurant was cute, and Lauren and I encouraged her to get his or give him her number. At the end of the meal she did.
After breakfast we went to the tennis club. First Isaac crushed me and then my brother did. I was hoping he wouldn't tell my dad, so that my dad would think he played especially well. But when my dad mentioned how he had played well and beat me, my brother did mention it.
In the afternoon we went to the beach and in the evening to dinner before heading home. My brother and Lauren were in one car following the four of us in another, but they were not keeping up. At first I thought the problem was that Karyn was driving too fast and my brother protesting. The restaurant was a twenty minute drive away and Jonathan did not know the way. My dad started getting annoyed while I remained neutral. Karyn soon ran a light where there was a high probability my brother couldn't make it, and had no choice but to wait by the side of the road until the light turned green.
I remember distinctly that earlier in the day my dad drove like a maniac, with us following him on side streets. I had thought, "What is he thinking?" I explained that it's best to drive extra slow when someone is following because it really is harder than you think to follow. But Karyn was not driving fast, as I objectively observed. I noticed my brother not keeping up when there was no reason not to and was no longer neutral.
Our lead was increasing by a car-length every few seconds. By the end of the drive Karyn and Isaac were very upset, and even I was annoyed with Jonathan. I told them I would confront him. I think they were too annoyed to. It turned out he had no idea that he was driving slow, even though at some points he was well over a hundred meters behind. I asked if he was having a serious conversation, and he said no, but Lauren said that they were. They thought the whole thing was funny, but it was annoying and inconsiderate.
Meanwhile tension was building up at the dinner table because my sister kept reading and my dad wanted her to stop since it was a nice family dinner. There was enough noise between my dad and sister that other tables looked over, which was embarrassing. Rachel may have been rude, but I was empathetic. As they quarreled, Karyn took my father's side, which I thought was sweet. She felt Rachel should learn the appropriate way to behave.
The fighting and tension were relieved once the appetizers came. The onion-rings were mediocre, but people liked them. That sometimes happens with onion-rings. The main dishes, the seafood, were great, as expected, and by the end of the meal we were all satiated and in good spirits.
On Monday, I had dinner with kids I used to baby-sit, Jacob and Reuben and their mom. When I got there Reuben was studying Arabic. He spoke some Arabic while I spoke some Chinese, for everyone's entertainment. Then I showed some pictures I had brought over, and Arlene decided to give me some advice regarding Marsha's face, at which point Jacob freaked out, going off at his mother worse than I go off at mine, and for less reason.
Trip to Boston
I planned to go to Boston for a few days since I have a few friends there, my alma matter, and it is a beautiful during the summer. My brother joined me and the morning started off very unpleasantly.
I first met a friend of mine, Lenna . We decided on a picnic at her school, Babson College, which is right near Wellesley College. She is in an intensive one-year MBA program. We met Lenna at 3 PM, when her classes ended, and she did not want to eat anything. So we walked around Babson. We had planned to go to Wellesley afterward but as we had walked around for a couple of hours, she did not have time, so we said our good-byes. Lenna asked why I had come to Boston anyway, and I explained. She was one of the reasons, since she was one of the friends I had wanted to see.
At Wellesley, Jonathan and I ate our picnic food in the car and then jumped in the lake for a swim. We entered from where I thought was the right place, but it turned out to be a fifteen minute swim from the campus beach. Where we had entered the lake, there were a bunch of reeds and it felt nasty, but then I just thought about dirty China and was easily able to overlook it. We swam to the beach, which was really fun. We then walked around Wellesley for awhile before heading to Boston to meet Bruno for dinner at the Cheesecake factory. Unfortunately, there was miscommunication about which cheesecake factory to meet at, and we ended up meeting him after dinner for drinks instead. Bruno also asked why I had come to Boston. Bruno's friend offered my brother and I place to stay for the night, and as we didn't have one , it worked out great.
We slept in. For lunch we had plans, each of us meeting different friends. Before lunch we drove into town, but I drove the wrong way on Commonwealth Avenue. We ended up parking the car and having some yogurt in the car, parked under a pretty tree in a ritzy neighborhood.
When we got into town we went to my favorite frozen yogurt place. We ended up having two frozen yogurts and pizza and I didn't need lunch (or dinner, for that matter).
ANonetheless, we had lunch and afterward we drove to MIT. We put on our rollerblades and headed first for the food trucks. We shared a dish. Then we went rollerblading around the Charles river for over an hour before heading back for New York around 4 PM.
Weekend of July 25
Friday night I went to a Happy hour for my friend Carol, to celebrate her going off to Business school. I met a girl that was planning to go to Philly with her fianc¨¦. She asked what to do, so I told her.
The next day Carol and I drove my grandma to the country. We left the city at 10 PM. As I went to pick up the car, my grandma sent Carol to check if she had remembered to lock her door. I don't think she has ever forgotten to lock her door and besides, we live in a safe building, so I was slightly annoyed. I don't mind when she asks me to do things for her, but when she asked my friend, it was annoying.
When we got to grandma's shack, Carole and I threw the frisbee in the front yard while my grandma rested. Then we all went in the water. Later we picked up some Chinese food. Carole got chicken, though I tried to persuade her not to. We took the food back and ate together on the porch. It was very peaceful. It was hot and after lunch my grandma rested while I read. We jumped in the water a couple more times and left in the late afternoon. Traffic came to a stop and I followed other cars, who were exiting the highway via an entrance ramp. We took a detour to another road. My grandma tried to offer her advice, though she hadn't driven a car in tens of years, if ever.
I stopped at a gas station to ask directions and bought the gas station's flavored (Irish-cream) coffee. I seldom drink coffee, but I am starting to like it more and more. I would later tell my brother that I drank some coffee, knowing how happy he would be. He often tries to get me to drink coffee while with him. I still will not drink it in the morning, though, because I think that's a bad habit.
That night I met Jacob to go to the house-party of a girl in my building that I also used to baby-sit. They went to high school together. After midnight most of the party headed out to a bar downtown. In my taxi Reuben, who just finished his freshmen year in college, got in a conversation with an girl that had graduated college a couple of years ago. He was very into his studies and was talking about Saudi Arabia. Though what he was saying had plenty of bs, it didn't come out as bs, and the girl was impressed, so later they hooked up! It was the oldest woman, probably by far, that Reuben had hooked up with. Some people left at 4 AM and Reuben and Jacob thought about leaving, but I was like, "Why?" We were all awake, having a good time, and buzzed, why leave? So we hung out for another 45 minutes. I had some very interesting conversations with Hillary, who I hadn't talked to in about fifteen years. I am not sure why we left around 5 AM, but we did.
I had let my mom know I wanted to do spinning with her on Sunday morning and she had the smarts to call me to wake me up at 9 AM. She was already at the gym for the first spinning class. The second one was in an hour. My brother met me at the gym after spinning class and I decided I would stay and work out again with him. He had a coffee in his hand, so we went to hang out in a lounge area. I was antsy, but he was like, "what's the rush?" as he sipped his coffee, and I realized there was none. So we had a conversation in the gym lounge.
Then I did 45 minutes on his favorite machine, the precor (an elliptical cardio machine), instead of my favorite, the stationary bike. While I was working out he excitedly gave me a magazine advertisement from the CIA mentioning that they had jobs in China. He also gave me a CD to listen to.
That night Jonathan cooked dinner . Dash and Lauren joined my mom and I. Lauren's mom dropped Lauren off, and then Jonathan decided to invite her upstairs.
My last day in NYC before heading for China
Monday was my last day in New York. In the morning I went shopping with my Grandma. We took a taxi to her favorite place, on 110th street. We got all sorts of things she liked and I picked out a fried chicken breast that had caught my eyes. She brought her favorite bread, rye without seeds, and some ham off the bone. She also bought some mediocre wafers. When I asked why, she told me it was because if she bought the good ones, they would be gone very soon afterward, as she would finish eating them.
On the cab ride home I got annoyed at the taxi for the way he went, as he crossed over from Broadway to Riverside Drive on 110th street instead of 111th, but it ended up he was right and I was wrong, the usual when I am a little nasty for no reason and over-confident. I then returned to her apartment with her ad waited for my brother to come meet me. I don't think he was in the mood to hang out but thought he should since I was off to China the next day. In the early afternoon my brother showed up and my grandmother and I casually said goodbye. That is the way she likes it. She is very unhappy that I am so far away, but is happy I am doing what I want to do.
Jonathan was in a bad mood for reasons I still don't know. I wanted to see a movie and told my brother to pick one out, but he couldn't come through, and we sat around for a couple hours while I became more and more irritated. I was not in a rush, which he knew, but that did not mean I wanted to spend my last day in New York indoors. Instead of a movie, we went for a walk and had a catch in Central Park. He decided to take off his sandals, and I followed by taking off my sneakers. I was thinking how nice it was to be barefoot. A few minutes later I stepped in something soft and mushy. I dealt with it OK, rubbing it against the grass like you would rub a shoe. Minutes later, if you were to look at my food, you would not have known what had happened earlier, but maybe if you had smelled it you would have.
That evening Jason arrived in NYC again. His last trip had been to find an apartment, but now he was here to live. We had a nice family dinner at my favorite Indian place in the city. Although I had an early flight, I reluctantly went out for drinks afterwards. I was glad when they called it an early evening, and I dropped everyone off - my brother and Lauren at my dad's house and Jason at Cara at the train station, and then headed back to my mom's. In the morning, at 5 AM, my mom drove me to the airport.
My return flight, from New York to Shanghai, had a stopover in San Francisco and my aunt and uncle met me at the airport to have lunch, chat and walk around, and check out the awesome new international terminal. The time flew by and soon I was on my way to Shanghai.
To read about how China has been since I returned on July 30, click here.
Misc.
Interesting email from a Russian friend of mine, with his perceptions about America.